#Printmaster 11 full#
#Printmaster 11 software#
#Printmaster 11 plus#

Fuck you hard.Īs illustrated above, PrintMaster's poster feature was designed exclusively so that people could make posters about their missing dogs, but creative users quickly discovered they could make posters for missing cats, dinosaurs, and Frankensteins as well. The last thing this world needs is more lazy egotistical fuckheads, and PrintMaster Plus's stationery feature was unquestionably instrumental in creating untold dozens of smarmy bastards who cheated their way through college, lied their way through interviews, and ended up with cushy jobs that they sneak out of two hours early every single day.

That sort of Ferris Bueller arrogance and self-involvement might be cute in John Hughes movies, but in real life it's fucking annoying. The corporate office would like you to move forward with my original proposal of Sloppy Joes and french fries. After great debate, the other board members and I have decided henceforth to reject your proposal on the grounds that it is crass and pedantic. I have read your proposal to serve tuna noodle casserole and a garden salad at tonight's dinner event. Instead, all it served to do was give precocious little preteens a new way to irritate their parents:

Thus, the end product of PrintMaster's stationery feature was a shoddy piece of paper with a gigantic blocky letterhead, certainly not the sort of thing that any legitimate business would use.

#Printmaster 11 plus#

But PrintMaster Plus was designed to cater to dot matrix printers, which only had a print capacity of about 60-90 DPI and used cheap-looking tractor-feed paper. These days, printers are capable of printing high resolution text and images at upwards of 4800 dots per inch (DPI), so with a good printer and some expensive paper, you could print out some fairly nice stationery if you really wanted to. Meanwhile, printing out your own stationery is also not a great idea, and it was a fucking TERRIBLE idea in 1988. And if you're willing to pay, Sports Illustrated puts out a very nice swimsuit calendar each year as well. Seriously, why the fuck would you ever need to print out a calendar? Banks give them out like fucking candy, and many charitable organizations mail out calendars to loyal contributors every December. Actually, only three of those are exciting the calendar and stationery options are completely fucking useless. PrintMaster Plus has five exciting project choices: poster, stationery, card, banner, and calendar. As the article progresses and I become increasingly lazy, it will just be called PrintMaster. From here on out, the program will simply be referred to as PrintMaster Plus. For my own amusement - and hopefully yours - I will be reviewing this product. One such product was Kyocera Unison's PrintMaster Plus 2.0, which was first released on September 19, 1988.

#Printmaster 11 full#

And so these companies responded, not by making better word processing programs, but by releasing separate printing programs that offered these features at full retail price. And kids wanted to print out fancy cover pages for the aforementioned book reports. Parents wanted to print out invitations to their kids' birthday parties. Garage bands wanted to print out fliers for their shows. Eventually companies began to realize that people wanted to use printers to do other things besides just type up letters and book reports. But at the end of the day, these programs were still just glorified typewriters if you wanted to do something that required a little more pizzazz than just text on a portrait-oriented sheet of paper, well, you were fucked. After a while, multiple fonts were offered, as well as advanced options like superscript that allowed for footnotes and endnotes.

#Printmaster 11 software#

At the same time, software companies were developing word processing programs for computers.

You had upwards of one font to choose from, you could underline it, and if you were lucky, you might have options to bold or italicize it. Back in the 80s, if you wanted to type up a paper electronically, you could buy a word processor, a special computer that was little more than a glorified typewriter. It never ceases to amaze me how far technology has come, and the primitive bullshit that computer users used to put up with.